Virgin Slut Cravings.

There have been so many times that I have had to hide how I felt because I lived my life denying who I was. I was a closet queen who was pretending to be normal. Some might have guessed my secret if they were observant. I didn't do things that other boys my age did. I love hanging out at home like a housewife. I loved to draw and would do that for hours at a time inside my house. I taught myself to cook, because I dreamed about becoming a housewife to a virile manly man someday.
I needed the cover of four walls to escape the criticism that I faced from rough boys. It was my refuge and It made me secure as well as embolden to indulge in my secret fantasy of being a woman. For a time, I could wear my mother’s clothes, and those were good wonderful days for me. I would secretly read Romance Magazines that my mother bought. I would see things from the female point of view. I have always wanted to be a woman from the time that I was conscience of my memories.
I loved watching women put on, and wear makeup. I wondered why I felt so strange when I watched those women and felt so peculiar in my crotch. As a teenager it was hard to hide my true nature. When boys my age talked and spoke of playing sports and having sex and about the pretty girls they wanted to bang, I secretly wanted to be that girl, or at least wear her clothes. I remember some of my peers would brag about "getting those draws", which meant something completely different to my way of thinking. I wanted to get those drawers too, but I was also hoping they were at least in my size, and they definitely had to be silky and lacey. I had secretly tried on my mother’s slip and the feel of it gave me a heart skipping full body thrill. I was hooked.
It was hard to keep my secret and many times I was called out, but pretended to be straight. In private I had secret dreams and even scenarios of me being whisked away by a strong lover who would carry me in his arms to some secluded spot and screw my brains out.